Written by Scot Goins, Associate Dean of Academic Achievement, Bar Success, and Data Analytics
If someone you love or care deeply about is about to graduate (or has graduated) from Atlanta’s John Marshall Law School (AJMLS) and is preparing for the bar exam, you are an important part of their success story. The Office of Academic Achievement and Bar Success (AABS) works closely with our graduates during this period, and we know that strong, informed support from family and friends can make a meaningful difference in both well-being and performance on the exam.
Bar preparation is intensive, time-limited, and unlike any other studying your graduate has done before. This guide is designed to help you understand what they are facing and how you can support them effectively during this season.
Understand What Bar Prep Really Looks Like
For many graduates, bar study looks like a full-time (and then some) job. During the 8–10 weeks leading up to the exam, they are typically:
- Studying 8–10 hours per day, most days of the week
- Watching lectures, reviewing outlines, and practicing multiple-choice questions and essays
- Managing stress, fatigue, and significant pressure
It is helpful to think of this as a short-term, intensive training period required for entry into the legal profession. Your graduate is not “just studying for a test”; they are preparing for a licensing exam that determines when they can begin their legal career.
Expect Less Availability and Know It Is Not Personal
Because bar prep demands so much time and mental energy, your graduate will likely be less available for:
- Casual visits and drop-ins
- Social events, even important ones
- Long phone calls, texts, and social media interactions
AABS encourages students to communicate these limits clearly, and we encourage you to interpret them as a sign of their commitment, not a rejection of you. When they say “I can’t” or “not this time,” it is usually about protecting the consistency they need to study effectively, not about how much they care.
One of the greatest gifts you can offer is not taking this distance personally, and reminding them that you understand this is temporary.
Help Protect Their Study Time
You can play a key role in helping your loved one maintain a healthy, productive routine. Some practical ways to support their schedule include:
- Avoiding calls or visits during their designated study hours
- Checking their schedule before planning events or requests
- Helping reduce noise and distractions in the home environment when they are studying
If you live with the bar taker, you can go a step further by:
- Taking on extra household tasks (meals, errands, childcare, household logistics)
- Helping them “clock in and out” of study time so they can focus while working and truly rest during breaks
These actions help conserve their limited mental energy for studying and reduce the stress of juggling competing responsibilities.
Offer Support, Not Pressure
The bar exam already comes with intense internal and external pressure. Your role can be most helpful when it emphasizes encouragement rather than evaluation.
Consider:
- Saying “I’m proud of how hard you’re working” instead of “Are you going to pass?”
- Asking “How can I support you this week?” instead of “Why aren’t you here more often?”
- Listening when they need to vent, without immediately offering solutions or comparisons
Many bar takers simply need a safe space to share their worries and frustrations. Being a calm, nonjudgmental listener is one of the most valuable contributions you can make.
Help Them Maintain Balance in Healthy Ways
While studying is central, no one can study effectively 24/7. AABS encourages graduates to build in small, restorative breaks, and you can help by:
- Suggesting brief, low-pressure activities on their schedule: a short walk, a quick meal, a quiet coffee break
- Encouraging healthy habits: sleep, hydration, movement, and short mental breaks
- Respecting their limits if they say they are too tired or need to get back to studying
Think in terms of “supportive breaks,” not major all-day events. A 20-minute walk or a short conversation can be helpful; a full day away from studying close to the exam may be overwhelming or stressful.
Learn a Little About the Process
You do not need to understand every detail of the bar exam, but learning the basics can go a long way. You might:
- Ask them to share, briefly, how long the exam is and what subjects it covers
- Learn approximately when the exam is and when results will be released
- Understand that most graduates take a commercial bar prep course with a structured schedule
When you know the timeline and the stakes, it becomes easier to be patient with their schedule and moods, and to recognize that this is an extraordinary—but temporary—period.
Offer Specific, Concrete Help
Many loved ones say “Let me know if you need anything,” but bar takers are often too overwhelmed to think of specific requests. Instead, consider offering concrete help, such as:
- “Can I bring dinner one night this week so you don’t have to cook?”
- “Would it help if I handled this appointment/task for you?”
- “Do you want me to quiz you using your flashcards for 15 minutes?”
Even small acts of service can meaningfully reduce their stress and help them stay focused.
Prepare for Emotional Ups and Downs
Bar prep is mentally and emotionally taxing. Your loved one may experience:
- Higher levels of stress and fatigue
- Periods of frustration or self-doubt
- Days when they feel behind, even when they are making progress
You cannot “fix” these feelings, but you can normalize them. Reminding them that it is okay to feel stressed, that they are not alone, and that you believe in their ability to get through this can be deeply grounding.
If you ever become seriously concerned about their well-being or mental health, gently encourage them to reach out to professional support or to AABS so we can connect them with appropriate resources.
Keep the Finish Line in Sight
It can help both you and your graduate to remember that bar prep is a defined season, not a permanent state. Together, you might:
- Talk about how you will celebrate after the exam
- Plan a small gathering, trip, or family day once studying is over
- Acknowledge milestones along the way (finishing practice exams, completing the course, etc.)
These shared markers can turn a difficult period into a collective effort, rather than something your graduate feels they must endure entirely alone.
AABS Message to Loved Ones, Family, and Friends
From the perspective of the Office of Academic Achievement and Bar Success at AJMLS: your support matters. When family and friends understand the demands of bar preparation and respond with patience, flexibility, and encouragement, they help create the conditions that allow our graduates to do their best work.
Thank you for walking alongside your AJMLS graduate during this challenging and important time. Your understanding today contributes to their success on exam day—and to the start of their professional life as an attorney.